Customs and courtesy

Walking into Shops

So as in other parts of Europe, it’s customary to seek out the shop owner and say hello when you enter. I know that many of us are introverted Seattleites who don’t want to draw attention to ourselves, but it is actually rude in Italy not to do this.

“Ciao” is super informal, and even though they might say it to you, I would not say it to them. Depending on the time of day, a happy, “buon giorno,” is nice, and an, “arrivederci,” when you leave.

What to Say When

Speaking of time of day, here’s a little guide as to what to say when:

Buon giorno = good day. We say this before 14.00

Buona sera = good evening. We say this after 14.00

Buona notte = goodnight. We can say this when we’re leaving a place late.

Drinking Coffee

You guys, it’s important.

1st rule is: Don’t order a coffee to go. Order your coffee, drink it at the counter or pay to sit (there’s usually a small fee to sit down in a coffee shop), and drink it there like a civilized human being. Because tourists visit Italy, they will grudgingly do it for you if you ask. (You would say that you’d like your coffee, “a porta via,” which literally means to take it on the road.) But just don’t.

2nd rule is: Do not order a cappuccino after 14.00. Italians think that it’s a little tougher to digest milk in the late afternoon and evening, and honestly I don’t want to argue with an Italian person. I once ordered a cappuccino after dinner and got lectured, to the delight of everyone at the table who could understand him. He brought me an espresso.

3rd rule is: Watch how other customers order before you do. A lot of times you order at the cash register first and pay, then take your receipt to the counter and make sure the person behind the counter picks it up and marks it down. They tend not to line up in Italy, so don’t be polite. Tourists will try to line up, but we hate tourists. Shove your way to the front and get that receipt in front of the only person on earth who matters: the person who is going to make your coffee.

Ordering in Restaurants

A menu in an Italian restaurant is made up of five areas. Traditionally, it’s good to order something from all five, but because tourists, it’s not frowned upon to only order a few things.

Antipasti = This is the appetizer. What you tend to think of an antipasto platter is true: meats, veggies, that kind of thing.

Primi piatti = Literally means “first plate,” this is your pasta course. Unless you’re eating in a super touristy restaurant, the pasta dishes are not huge… but they’re still big enough that I can’t physically eat anything else.

Secondi = This is the second dish, and it’s always a protein. You’ll see chicken, fish, steak, rabbit, horse, boar, your face… you name it. Unless it’s a tourist restaurant, if you order a secondi, it is just that protein with no side.

Contorni = The side dish. This is always a vegetable or starch. This is where you’ll find roasted potatoes, spinach, etc.

Dolce = The sweet course, or dessert. Since Italians don’t really have a true sweet tooth, the traditional “dessert” to order is a macedonia - the fruit salad. Tiramisu is not actually a traditional Italian desert, but you’ll see it on most menus anyway, along with gelato and other stuff.

Normally you will not get bread or water automatically. You’ll need to let them know if you want sparkling or still water, and understand that still is sometimes going to be tap water. In Tuscany, the bread is traditionally saltless, as it’s meant only to mop up the sauce off your plate after you’re done. I love it but just know this going into it that it’s not meant to be eaten on its own.

In Italian restaurants, they will not bring you the bill unless you specifically ask for it. They are happy to have you sitting there all night if you want to. Remembering that since much of Italian culture revolves around the dinner table, getting in and out of a restaurant in an hour is not reasonable. When you’re ready for the bill, ask the waiter, “mi scusi, il conto, per favore,” which means, “excuse me, the bill, please.”

Words and Phrases

Italian is an easier language to learn than, say, French, where they swallow most of the word and look WAY better than you while doing it. With Italian, you pronounce every letter in a word. Even double letters will be more drawn out than single letter, indicating that it’s a different thing and spelled differently.

For example, you want to draw that N out in the pasta called penne, since pene means penis. And I don’t know about you, but there are very few occasions when I want a bowl of penises covered in marinara sauce and cheese.

Other Pronunciations

ce = ch

ci = ch

ch = k

gli = leee (only with a weird back-of-your-throat thing that I can’t figure out how to write here)

Debatably Useful Words and Phrases

Parla inglese? = Do you speak English?

Non parlo italiano = I don’t speak Italian

Parlo un po italiano = I speak a little Italian

Mi dispiace = I’m sorry. (I use this one a lot. A LOT.)

Per favore = Please

Mi scusi = Excuse me (polite version)

Permisso = MOVE. (To be yelled at groups of tourists who are staring at their phones and won’t get out of your way because they are in their own little worlds and they’re terrible.)

Quanto costa questo? = How much does this cost?

Più = More

Un altro = Another

Dove = Where

Ecco = Here

Ecco la = Here it is

quello = That

questo = This

Biglietto or biglietti = ticket or tickets

pane = bread

vino = wine

(I tend to only order the house red or white wherever I am in Italy, and I have very rarely been disappointed. They’re always way cheaper than anything on the wine list, and almost always really good. Except for that one place in Rome where it tasted like dirty dishwater, but we don’t like to talk about that.)

vino rosso = red wine
vino rosso della casa = the house red wine

vino bianco = white wine
vino bianco della casa = the house white wine

acqua = water

acqua minerale con gas or acqua frizzante = sparkling water

acqua minerale sansa gas or acqua naturale = still water

il conto = the check (from a restaurant)

Primo piano = first floor