The history of this so-called “castle”…

I’m not going to lie to you guys, this place is freaking OLD.

This castle was built as part of the feudal system in the 10th-11th centuries (that is old) by your best pals the Florentines.

No, not those filthy Sienese, the FLORENTINES, bitches!

Because Florentines, they get the job done. <record scratch>

The lord in charge of Castello di Montegufoni was from the Ormanni family, and he chose the castle because its strategic position in the Tuscan hills.

I don’t want to brag or anything, but the Ormanni family were mentioned by some little-known Florentine stalker named Dante:

“…so that it should not seem remarkable when I speak of the noble Florentines, whose fame is buried by time. I have seen the Ughi, seen the Catellini, the Filippi, Grechi, Ormanni and Alberichi, illustrious families already on the wane”.

Dante Alighieri (1265-1321) – Divine Comedy, Paradise Canto XVI

OMG, right? OMG!!

Anyway, in true feudal style, a small village started to enlarge around the castle. The inhabitants mainly dedicated themselves to agriculture in order to exploit the local resources. It was an OK existence for a while, I guess, but in 1135 the castle was totally destroyed by a Florentine army attack and it was left in ruins for a long long time. This four towers-fortress doesn't exist anymore, but you can see some parts of the original castle in the garden.

Um. What was I saying about the awesome Florentines? It probably wasn’t important.

In 1160, the ruined castle was bought by Gugliarello Acciaioli, whose family had managed the building prior to the Florentine’s temper tantrum. Dudebro financed its reconstruction, transforming it into a noble fortress.

The redesign enlarged the castle’s spaces, and they built a central structure along with seven minor buildings, which later got the name of “the seven old villas of the ancestral Castello di Montegufoni,” which in my opinion is not a very catchy name but then again, what do I know.

In 1386, Donato di Jacopo started building the stone tower, and the family commissioned works like the court of the “Dukes of Athens” and its entrance staircase. The bell tower was restored in 1546 and the architect was obviously ripping off Arnolfo di Cambio's tower for Palazzo Vecchio in Florence. What an asshole, am I right?

In the 17th century, Montegufoni was finally completed when the seven properties were joined, the halls were decorated by some rad frescoes and the garden of the Cardinal, the internal Gallery, the Assunta Chapel, and the wonderful Grotta di Latona were added. In 1612, Cosimo II (that’s Cosimo II de MEDICI, Riley) stayed at the castle and had a wonderful time, by all accounts.

At the beginning of the 20th century, the castle was bought by an English lord called Sir George Sitwell, which is among the Britishest names in the entire world. His son, Osbert Sitwell, (we really missed the boat by not naming Colin “Osbert”) commissioned the illustration by Gino Severini called, “Maschere.”

During World War II, Castello di Montegufoni was chosen to hide some of the most valuable works of art in the Western world from Hitler’s greedy clutches. Famous cartoonest Botticelli’s “La Primavera,” ya boy Giotto's “Madonna di Ognissanti” and hair ornament enthusiast Ghirlandaio's ’”Adoration of the Kings" were all moved from the Uffizi to the castle for safe-keeping until 1945.

Finally, in 1972 the property was sold to Posarelli family, who still manages the castle to this very day. TO THIS VERY DAY. Montegufoni has been divided in 39 apartments, all of which we will be taking over, and the castle will never be the same again.